This is not easy to share. It’s intimate. It’s personal. It’s about my penis. Full disclosure: I consult with the Private Gym – and I assure you this is not a plug nor was I asked to do this. On the contrary, I offered. As the words left my mouth and met with positive response, I shuddered knowing just how “personal” this was going to get.
So here goes. I’m a man in my late 40's. Like many of us, in the 80’s I was “hair identified” – the era of Duran Duran, Flock of Seagulls, Alphaville and “hair bands” more famous for their style than music. In the 90’s, following the trend, I became “body identified.” Gone was the natural muscled look – in swept the hyper-masculine, hyper-buff, superman look.
At some point your hair can begin to thin (or outright disappear); your joints eventually tell you who’s the boss in the gym and your physique is not what it was. But at least I still had the bedroom – and entering my 40s I never felt so vital, so desired or desirable. Newly divorced, out of the closet and making up for lost time (not to mention living abroad), I was able to unleash a whole new side to myself.
Like hair and muscle, soon too, this started….well…. let’s just say I noticed that things were not what they had been. The “cascade effect” of the right look from the right person which normally started a stirring, was not there anymore. It became a need for manual stimulation to get that motor running. And when it was ‘up and running’ it didn’t feel the same. Not as hard. Not as vital and not nearly as enthusiastic a release (euphemisms in full effect). What was once long-shot target practice now emerged like a dying faucet.
I went through the usual blame game: it’s my testosterone levels (nope, they actually turned out to be 3x the normal average); it’s my vitamin levels (17 supplements a night for months and still no difference); I’m not getting enough cardio (do I need to go further…)? Physiological side effects aside, the effect on my psyche was worse. Could I no longer please my partners the way I once had? Was this destiny? WTF?!
In June, I met the team from the Private Gym and was introduced to the patented Private Gym kegels for men pelvic exercise program. As a gym-goer and avid men’s health enthusiast, the logic of muscle training made sense to me. It wasn’t a pill, it isn’t invasive, and it was a pleasant add-on to an activity I had enjoyed since my early teens – so why not?
I began using the program. It was a LOT tougher than I imagined. Not the flexing – the HOLDING. Whoa! But I kept at it. Then it happened. I am blessed to have a great partner and our sex life is outstanding – though I was never on par with his ability to get and stay hard and enjoy sex multiple times every day. It was enviable. But HE noticed a difference in me. It was one thing for me to feel it but to get un-solicited (positive) feedback about firmness, frequency and such was the equivalent of an Oscar Win.
Subjective points aside, I shoot further now than in my 20’s. And that was the best evidence yet. So yeah, this is personal – you now know more about me than my GP of 20 years. But I hope in sharing this you learn what I learned. There are certain things we cannot change about aging. But your bedroom performance is completely in your …um…hands (so to speak). You can build the muscle and enjoy better sex. It doesn’t happen by magic. It requires your participation. But you didn’t think one visit to the gym was going to give you the chest you wanted either.
Did you know there are more Google searches about penises than any other body part? For every 100 questions about the nether regions, there are 67 for the heart, 57 for the eyes and 40 for the head. Find out what exactly men are searching for!
Kegels, or pelvic floor exercises, are not just for women. Nor can they be performed any old place at any old time. Kegels are so much more than just squeezing and releasing. Explore this post as we set all the Kegel myths straight.