Men worry about how long they last in bed due to societal and cultural pressures. In addition, the exploits of celebrities and the on-screen antics of porn stars help to create unrealistic expectations of how long intercourse should last.
Of course, no guy wants to be the 'One Minute Man,' but too many men believe that the length of time they last in bed is a measure of their masculinity and ability to please their woman. However, this is not necessarily true!
It's far from the 40-minute marathon-pounding sessions that many guys imagine they could perform! Even so, if ejaculation regularly occurs before the two-minute mark, there may be a problem.
Nevertheless, if you and your partner are happy with the sex, there's no real problem! We realize that there are various medical and non-medical reasons why a guy might want to last longer in bed. For example, you may suffer from a medical condition such as premature ejaculation or be perfectly healthy and want to become a sex Olympian! Regardless, we put together this complete guide to help you last longer in bed.
First, we'll explore the diverse reasons why you may want or need to stay longer in bed. Then, we'll address these reasons and suggest specific health tips, behavioral changes, and treatments that you can explore.
How Long is Long Enough?
According to a recent study, 5 ½ minutes is the average time for ejaculation. So although doctors suggest that regularly ejaculating in under two minutes may indicate a problem, this number isn't set in stone.
(One study suggests that men who ejaculate in under one minute have "definite" premature ejaculation, and those ejaculating between one and one and a half minutes have "probable" PE.) In other words, if you and your partner are happy and fulfilled by intercourse, there is no worry!
Interestingly, women are far less likely than men to define an orgasm or ejaculation as "premature." So the issue may be your perception of your performance and a desire to last longer than anything serious. However, if the problem affects you or your partner and lowers the quality of your sex life, it's worth investigating further by seeking professional medical advice.
I'm the "One Minute Man"! What's the Cause?
If you regularly need help to reach the two-minute mark, there may be an issue. If you're like most guys, the internet is your first port of call. However, there are many reasons for not lasting long enough in bed – both physical and emotional – and trying to diagnose yourself is ill-advised. So instead, we suggest you visit your local GP to discuss the issue further.
The most common medical reasons for ejaculating early or not lasting very long in bed are:
Premature ejaculation (PE)
Erectile dysfunction (ED)
These are prevalent problems and affect most men during their lifetime. Most men will experience an issue relating to sex, such as PE or ED, at some point during their lives.
We'll explain these three conditions and give tips and advice on dealing with them. First, however, it's important to stress that these are medical conditions that can only be adequately diagnosed by a medical professional such as your local GP.
What Is Performance Anxiety, and How Do You Treat It?
You may suffer from performance anxiety if you'd like to last longer in bed and are worried about how long you can go. This anxiety is widespread and normal in younger men, and almost every man will have experienced performance anxiety at some point.
However, performance anxiety can sometimes develop into PE or ED if left untreated. That's why it may be worth considering counseling. This support will help you address any underlying psychological issues causing performance anxiety. Counseling isn't a quick fix, and you can use any advice and tips in this guide to last longer in bed.
What is Premature Ejaculation (PE)?
There is no specific definition of premature ejaculation, but it generally refers to a man ejaculating in less than two minutes during regular intercourse. PE shouldn't be confused with Erectile dysfunction (ED) when you cannot achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for intercourse. ED can include losing your erection during sex, which could be one of the reasons why you don't last as long as you'd like.
If you have either PE or ED, you can take a free online assessment or book an appointment with your GP to check it out. If a medical professional confirms that you have PE, they will inform you that there are two main types of PE: 1) Primary PE and 2) Secondary PE.
This type of PE is a psychological condition and begins when men first become sexually active. If left untreated, it can remain a lifelong issue. If you have always ejaculated prematurely since your first sexual experience, you may suffer from Primary PE.
This form of PE begins later in life and can be caused by physical or psychological factors. These could include:
High blood pressure
Damaged veins and arteries
Damaged nerves in the pelvic area
Lifestyle factors such as smoking, drinking, stress, overwork, anxiety
Low Testosterone levels (although this is very rare)
Many of these factors are common to sufferers of both PE and ED. That's why it's crucial to seek professional guidance.
How to Treat Premature Ejaculation
A consultation with your doctor will help you determine whether you suffer from premature ejaculation and which type you have. Treating PE will depend on your diagnosis.
If you have Secondary PE, a complete health check-up will reveal any physical issues such as high blood pressure, diabetes, or prostate conditions.
Following the advised medical treatment for those conditions should help alleviate your PE. In addition, you may have to make lifestyle changes such as exercising more, losing weight, quitting smoking, or cutting back on alcohol. But, again, it depends on your diagnosis.
Since Primary PE is a psychological condition, counseling is the best solution to identify and address longstanding issues. However, if you have Secondary PE, you may also find counseling helpful in dealing with underlying causes. For example, a professional counselor can help you understand any psychological reasons why you may be climaxing too soon.
Possible reasons could include the following:
Dissatisfaction with your relationship
Stress or overwork
Negative feelings related to sexual performance.
While counseling can help to resolve engrained feelings and emotions, it takes time to work. However, in the interim period, a range of effective prescription treatments can help you deal with both types of PE.
Taken orally, Priligy is a highly effective prescription tablet that helps you last longer in bed. It works by delaying the chemical reactions that cause ejaculation.
Priligy is a widely-prescribed medicine with a successful track record of helping men suffering from PE. It should only be prescribed by a medical professional and used as directed. Once Priligy users become accustomed to lasting longer in bed, they can gradually reduce their dosage and taper off the medicine.
To compliment Priligy, EMLA is a cream treatment you apply to your penis before intercourse. EMLA works by desensitizing the nerve endings in the tip of your penis.
Phosphodiesterase (PDE) Inhibitors
Viagra (Sildenafil) is part of a group of medicines known as phosphodiesterase (PDE) inhibitors that treat erectile dysfunction (ED). Although many men try Viagra, believing it will help them last longer in bed, this medicine is only effective for men unable to achieve or maintain an erection.
However, some guys with PE use PDE inhibitors such as Viagra to continue having sex after they have orgasmed. Your erection will still go down after you orgasm, but erections are easier to get back. Viagra is the most widely known PDE inhibitor, but there is a range of alternatives you can explore:
Cialis (Tadalafil) has the longest-lasting effects of any PDE inhibitor.
Unlike Viagra, Levitra isn't affected by alcohol or food and lasts just as long.
Compared with Viagra, which usually takes one hour to take effect, Spedra works in as little as 20 minutes and is the fastest-acting PDE inhibitor today.
Alprostadil is applied directly to the penis and doesn't last as long as other treatments.
However, all of these medicines have in common that they are designed to treat ED, not PE, and should only be prescribed by a medical practitioner and used as described.
Contrary to popular belief, masturbation is perfectly healthy and natural. If practiced regularly, it can help build up your stamina and reduce the sensitivity of your penis. Regularly masturbating is an excellent way of training yourself to last longer in bed. It is also a great way to practice the various behavioral techniques outlined below before you try them out with your partner.
How to Use Masturbation to Last Longer in Bed
Whether you suffer from PE or want to last longer, masturbation is a way of training yourself to delay ejaculation. The primary technique is to masturbate until you are almost about to climax and stop or reduce the speed.
Kegel exercises help to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles and will help you last longer in bed. Some believe Kegel exercises are just for women, but that's not true! For men and women, the pelvic floor muscles support your bladder and bowels and significantly impact your sexual health and performance.
Our patented, clinically-tested Kegel exercise program for men is the perfect way to ensure you perform Kegel exercises correctly and continue to make gains as you build strength.
How to Find Your Pelvic Floor Muscles
If you need to figure out what these muscles are or where they are, try to stop yourself from urinating midstream. Then, as you tense up, you'll be able to identify the muscles at work.
To perform a Kegel rep, you contract and then relax these muscles to strengthen them. You can do Kegel exercises in several positions, including lying, sitting, and standing. If you're new to Kegel exercises, our guided Kegel program ensures you get it right.
How to Do Kegel Exercises
You may find it easier to do Kegel exercises when sitting upright in a chair with your back straight. Then, again, squeeze the muscles as if you are trying to stop yourself from urinating. Hold the squeeze for three seconds, and then relax. That's one repetition. A simple program is to do ten repetitions per set for three sets, with a minute rest in between sets. You can do this routine every other day.
Kegel exercises are helpful for men who have diminished bladder control, suffer from incontinence, or want to improve sexual function, including lasting longer in bed. Making Kegel exercises part of your daily routine can give you results within a few weeks to a few months.
Behavioral techniques are one of the best ways to last longer in bed. They can be helpful whether you suffer from PE or are trying to develop porn-star levels of sexual endurance. Behavioral techniques can help you to 'unlearn' the habits that cause premature ejaculation so you can have sex for longer. These techniques will take time and discipline to master but should produce permanent results.
As a caveat, you may need professional advice on how to benefit from these techniques. We recommend practicing behavioral techniques while masturbating to be more comfortable using them during sex.
The 'Squeeze' Technique
When you're about to climax during intercourse, withdraw and firmly squeeze the tip of your penis using your thumb and index finger to prevent ejaculation. You can practice this while masturbating by taking yourself to the point of climax and then squeezing hard. Squeeze for a few seconds until the urge to ejaculate diminishes.
The 'Stop-Start' Technique
This technique calls for you to reduce stimulation when you climax. You can practice this while masturbating by simply stopping when you are close to ejaculating. You can also try this technique during intercourse by withdrawing from your partner.
This technique can help you last longer in bed if practiced regularly. If you're worried your partner will complain about you stopping mid-flow, go down on them! They'll love it, and you'll get a chance to prepare yourself for the next round.
The 'Slow-Down' Technique
As a general rule, rapid thrusting will result in a faster climax. Therefore, using a slower, more measured technique will delay ejaculation and give your penis less stimulation, helping you to last longer.
The 'Testicle-Tug' Technique
Have you ever noticed that your testicles get tighter to your body as you're about to orgasm? A great way to last longer is to give your scrotum a sharp downward tug when you feel yourself getting close to climaxing.
Be careful to hold your scrotum – not your testicles! – and tug it sharply. This technique loosens up your sack and brings you back from the point of climax. With regular practice, this technique can help to keep you in the game for longer!
The 'Cheek-Bite' Technique
Giving yourself a jolt of pain is a time-tested way of delaying ejaculation. When you feel you're about to ejaculate, bite one of your fingers – hard. This move can help to dial down your erection and re-center yourself for a few extra minutes of action.
If practiced regularly, mental techniques are almost as effective as behavioral techniques in terms of helping you to last longer in bed. We suggest practicing these techniques while you masturbate and then using them during sex.
If you suffer from performance anxiety, PE, or ED, mental techniques are a great place to start as you deal with psychological conditions. But mental techniques are also great if you're perfectly healthy and want to pound your partner like a Trojan warrior!
Forcing yourself to focus on something other than sex will reduce your enjoyment during intercourse, but it is one of the best ways to last longer. If you focus on something dull such as the weather or a math problem, you should be able to delay ejaculation.
If this sounds too forced or corny, try breaking down the moment in your head:
My arms ache. Sweat is dripping down my back. The bed is creaking. I must tighten the bolts when I get a chance.
This dull, mundane thinking will help you focus on something other than yourself and should keep you from climaxing.
Focus on Your Partner
The second technique is to focus on your partner's pleasure instead of your own. You can fantasize about doing this while you masturbate and then try it for real during intercourse.
Allow yourself to focus on your partner's ecstasy and help them to climax. As with mental distraction, this technique helps you to take the focus away from yourself.
Communication is Key
Discussing before sex with your partner about your turn-ons and turn-offs can help you last longer. For example, if a particular position gets you there sooner than you'd like, it's a good idea to let your partner know so you can avoid it.
Feel free to express your concerns about not lasting long enough with your partner. Honesty isn't a sign of weakness! If she's into you, she'll help you out. Who knows, it could change your life!
If having a discussion sounds too scary, tell your partner during intercourse that you're getting there and ask her to change the position or tempo.
Wearing a condom is one of the most practical ways of lasting longer in bed. Condoms decrease sensitivity and usually increase the time it takes to ejaculate.
Here are some tips on choosing the correct condoms to last longer in bed.
Use Thick Condoms
Thicker condoms are safer as they're less likely to break during intercourse accidentally, so they are usually branded as Extra Safe. However, they are also great at helping you last longer in bed. Thicker condoms will provide less stimulation and increase the time it takes you to orgasm.
Climax Control Condoms
Many manufacturers, including Durex, produce climax-control condoms. These vary between brands but often feature thicker latex and special lubricant that desensitizes your penis. For instance, the Durex Performax Intense range features ribs and dots to maximize your woman's pleasure and a special delay lubricant to help prolong your pleasure.
If you've wondered how porn stars keep going for so long, you may not realize how much lubricant they use! Lube is handy for anyone wanting to last longer in bed. Here are two ways to effectively use a lubricant to last longer in the sack.
Use a Lot of Lube
A lesser-known advantage of lubricant is that using a lot of it can help to delay ejaculation. Generous lube will act as a 'glove' around your penis. This glove will reduce the stimulation you feel during intercourse and help you delay your ejaculation.
Many manufacturers sell special delay lubricants to help maximize your endurance. This lotion is the same type of lube found in climax control condoms. Using delay lube is perhaps less convenient than climax control condoms, but you can apply more to desensitize your penis further. You can also buy creams or sprays that contain the same active ingredients and use them in conjunction with lube. Promescent delay spray is one possible option that we recommend for this purpose.
The Best Oral Sex Positions to Last Longer in Bed
Sex is more than simply penetration. There are many other ways for you and your woman to pleasure each other.
Foreplay can significantly increase the sexual experience in terms of time and pleasure. If you suffer from PE, foreplay can lengthen the lovemaking session. If performance anxiety is an issue, foreplay can help ease your concerns that you'll finish before your woman is satisfied. If you are very skillful, you can help your woman orgasm before you even begin penetrative sex!
If PE affects your lovemaking, there are many ways to prevent this. The first solution is to wear a condom while receiving fellatio. This tactic will help to desensitize your penis to the stimulation and delay ejaculation. The second option is to use oral sex positions that reduce the chances of climaxing too soon.
Here are three oral sex positions that will help you last longer in bed.
#1. The 'Sixty Nine' position
The 'Sixty Nine' is a great foreplay position since very few people can climax while simultaneously giving and receiving oral sex. To try this position, you lie on your back and have your woman place her knees on either side of your shoulders. Then, she reaches forward to give you a blowjob while you eat her out! The demands of performing cunnilingus should provide enough of a distraction for you to delay your climax.
#2. The 'Crouching Tiger' position
The 'Crouching Tiger' position (also known as the 'Zombie') is a great oral sex position to try if you want to last longer in bed. First, sit on the bed and have your woman straddle your thighs to test this position. Then, she bends forward and gives you a blowjob while you stimulate her orally.
As the 'Crouching Tiger' puts you in an upright seating position, you'll find it much easier to delay your orgasm. In addition, your woman's downward-facing orientation will make it harder for her to provide intense stimulation to your penis.
Combined with the distraction of eating her out, you'll find yourself lasting much longer than usual in this position.
#3. The 'Inverted Elevator' position
The 'Inverted Elevator' oral sex position (also known as the 'Standing 69' or 'Pisces') is terrific for lasting longer in bed.
To try it, pick your woman up around her waist while facing her and twist her around. By wrapping your arms around her middle, you'll be able to support her weight. She can give you a blowjob in this position while you eat her out.
This position uses elements of the physical and mental distraction techniques we discussed earlier. You'll quickly tire of holding your woman in this position, and the physical effort and muscular discomfort will help take your mind away from the sexual act and last much longer in bed.
The Best Sex Positions to Last Longer in Bed
Every guy has a favorite sexual position that gets them there quickly, so the simple solution to lasting longer is to avoid your favorite! A good rule of thumb is that switching up positions during intercourse is a great way to last longer in bed.
If you're getting too close, changing the angle and tempo can make the sex feel different and help you last longer. Don't be afraid to stop and start going down on your woman mid-sex. She'll love it, and you'll get a chance to recover.
Here are three handy sex positions that will help you last longer in bed.
#1. The 'Cowgirl' Position
In general, women-on-top positions such as the 'Cowgirl' position will lengthen the time it takes you to climax. To try the 'Cowgirl,' lie on your back and have your woman straddle you.
As she is on top, she has complete control over the depth and pace of the penetration. She can raise herself for shallower penetration or lower herself for deeper penetration. If you are getting too close to climaxing, just let her know to switch up the position or tempo.
Although you can thrust upwards in this position, you have far less control and will generally find that it takes you longer to climax. There are many variations of the 'Cowgirl' position, such as the 'Reverse Cowgirl' where she faces away from you.
#2. The 'Spoon' Position
Spooning is a great sexual position as it only allows for shallow penetration. Both of you lie on your sides and face each other. Your partner raises one of her legs to let you enter her and then closes her legs. This angle prevents you from thrusting deeply and forces you to use circular or grinding motions.
If you need deep penetration to orgasm, this position can help you last longer in bed. It will give you limited stimulation and can help you delay your ejaculation.
#3. The 'Superman' Position
If you want to last longer in bed, the 'Superman' is one of the best positions to try. Of course, it's only possible if your woman is petite or if you are muscular, but most couples can master it with practice.
To try the Superman, move behind your woman and wrap your arms around her waist. You enter her from behind as she leans forward, and she wraps her legs around your lower back. She supports herself by placing her arms on your thighs. You can further support her by holding her hips.
The Superman sex position is great for lasting longer because it's physically demanding. This factor helps you apply the mental and behavioral techniques described earlier in this guide. The stress and strain of holding your woman in this position will help to take your mind off the sexual pleasure. You'll be preoccupied with the physical effort of holding your woman up and should be able to last longer than usual.
Sex Toys Can Help You Last Longer in Bed
There is a wide range of sex toys that will help you last longer in bed to complement the techniques, tips, and tricks discussed so far. Delaying ejaculation takes practice, and toys are a great way to enhance your masturbation sessions and, in turn, improve your lovemaking endurance.
Masturbators are sex toys known as 'masturbation sleeves,' 'masturbator cups,' or 'pocket pussies' that can help you last longer in bed. Almost all masturbators are made from silicone; many have been molded from real vaginal, anal, and oral openings. The most well-known brand name is Fleshlight.
Masturbators come in a vast range of shapes and sizes but generally fit into one of two categories:
Cup masturbators commonly feature a plastic outer case with a removable silicone insert. They are molded to resemble vaginal, anal, or oral openings at one end and contain bumps and ridges along their inner cavity. Cup masturbators may be either vibrating or non-vibrating, and some battery-operated models feature a mechanical thrusting action for hands-free use. We carry several in this category, and our top-rated is the Tenga Flip Zero.
You can also buy stand-alone silicone masturbators molded from the models' vagina, anus, or mouth. Some masturbators resemble just the buttocks, while others resemble the entire upper torso minus the arms.
These are sometimes referred to as 'married mans' models as they are easier to hide or conceal than fully-fledged sex dolls.
With regular use, masturbators can help you learn how to prolong ejaculation and are a great way to practice all of the behavioral and mental techniques described earlier in this guide.
The longer you can last while using a masturbator, the longer you'll be able to last during sex. Frequent use of masturbators can help to desensitize your penis and improve your ability to control your orgasms.
Some manufacturers recommend wearing a condom and using lubricant while using masturbators. This technique gives you a good way of experiencing sensations similar to actual intercourse without any anxiety associated with premature ejaculation.
Some brands, such as Fleshlight, even sell kits directly aimed at men who want to last longer. For example, Fleshlight's Vaginal Stamina Training Unit resembles a vagina and contains an inner silicone sleeve packed with bumps. These bumps provide massive stimulation and, with regular use, can help you control your urge to ejaculate.
To last longer in bed, you must practice, practice, practice! But, unfortunately, not all of us get as much training as we'd like. Besides masturbation, the cheapest and most convenient way to simulate sex is to buy a masturbator.
But these don't give you the sense of physically being with a woman. That's why one of the best ways to get more practice is to use a sex doll:
Sex dolls allow you to simulate actual sexual positions realistically and help you deal with any anxiety associated with premature ejaculation. Although considered taboo by many men, sex dolls can help to keep you supple and limber for when the need arises.
As with masturbators, you can find an enormous variety of sex dolls on the market today:
The cheapest type of dolls are inflatable and made from PVC. Their oral and vaginal openings are molded into the shape of real women. More premium models feature removable silicone inserts (similar to masturbation sleeves) for the oral and vaginal openings. Although these dolls can be deflated, doing so takes time and is impractical regularly.
Mid-range sell dolls carry price tags of a few hundred dollars and up. They are generally non-posable and offer limited levels of realism. Most mid-range silicone sex dolls have removable inserts for vaginal, oral, and anal openings.
Metal Skeleton Sex Dolls
The most advanced silicone sex dolls come with price tags ranging into thousands of dollars, and every aspect of them – from their hair color to their physical dimensions – can be specified by the customer when they place their order. In addition, these high-end dolls have internal metal skeletons and fully articulated joints, offering a wide range of realistic poses.
Sex dolls are a great way to get more practice and learn some behavioral and mental techniques required to stay longer in bed. However, they are less practical than masturbators and require more ongoing care and cleaning.
Sexual Devices That Can Help You Last Longer in Bed
Penis pumps treat erectile dysfunction (ED) by improving blood flow, which can enhance the strength and duration of your erection. Likewise, penis pumps can also be helpful for men with PE. In addition, regular use can slightly desensitize your penis, which can help you to last longer in bed.
How to Choose the Right Penis Pump
Medical-grade penis pumps often contain constriction rings in various sizes that fit around the base of your penis to constrict the blood flow out of your penis. In addition, some models of penis pumps use water to increase comfort and evenly distribute pressure. We often recommend these hydro pumps since they include additional features that improve usability and results over older pumps.
How to Use a Penis Pump
Using penis pumps regularly for 15 minutes daily as part of your shower or bathroom routine can help you last longer in bed. Penis pumps create an intense feeling of stimulation as they form a vacuum around your penis. If you suffer from PE, regularly using a penis pump can help you get used to this intense stimulation. Within 60 days of regular use, you may find it easier to last longer in bed.
Most people associate penis rings with pleasure-enhancing devices. Still, they are also great for ED sufferers to improve erections since they can increase the duration of your erection. Likewise, you can use penis rings in conjunction with other ED treatments.
Penis rings can also be effective if you suffer from PE since they reduce the rate at which blood leaves your penis. So if you climax early, penis rings make it easier to get your erection back.
How to Choose a Penis Ring
Penis rings can be either adjustable or non-adjustable, and there are three main types of penis rings:
Conventional Penis Ring
Conventional penis rings fit around the base of your penis to apply pressure to the blood vessels. These devices can delay orgasm while increasing erection quality.
This type of penis ring fits around the base of your penis and testicles. They delay orgasm and increase pleasure.
These devices fit only around the testicles. They can delay orgasms and increase sexual pleasure; according to one case study, they help prevent ED.
How to Use a Penis Ring
You can use a penis ring while masturbating or during intercourse. We suggest testing the ring while you are alone and becoming comfortable wearing it before you try it in the bedroom.
Here's a quick guide to getting started:
How to Use a Conventional Penis Ring
Slide the ring over the head of your erect penis. Then, roll the ring down your shaft right to the base.
How to Use a Penoscrotal Ring
Slip your testicles into the ring first while your penis is flaccid. Next, push the head of your penis through the ring and then pull the rest of your shaft through. The ring should be flush with the base of your penis and scrotum.
How to Use a Testicle Ring
As with the penoscrotal ring, you put your testicles through the ring one by one. The testicle ring will hang on top of your testicles, not sit at the base of your scrotum.
Are Penis Rings Dangerous?
In general, penis rings are not dangerous, but if you experience pain or any sensation of numbness, swelling, or bulging, you should immediately remove the ring. Do not wear a penis ring for more than 30 minutes without taking a 30-minute break. This break is necessary because if the ring cuts off blood flow to your penis for too long, you may risk gangrene. Contact your nearest accident and emergency department immediately if you cannot remove a penis ring.
While masturbation is healthy, excessive masturbation may cause sexual dysfunction, including premature ejaculation during partnered activity. In that case, NoFap may be a solution to this problem. This website will provide you with more information on this practice.
The Ultimate Conclusion
There is a wide range of reasons why you may want or need to last longer in bed. We've explained the most common issues you'll likely face and have shown you multiple ways to treat and overcome them.
While we're confident that many of these techniques can produce results, we recommend that you test one at a time to see how each affects you. Then you may combine multiple techniques to maximize results!
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